I remember the day I got home from hospital with newborn Lewis my sister, TT had asked me whether if I needed her to help me go and buy anything… The one thing I had asked her to buy me was a parenting book. It was a book that was thicker than the holy bible, but I think it is probably one of a handful of books I had ever read cover to cover (the other cover to cover books were all those GCSE compulsory books from English Literature). I relied on it like an instruction manual. When you buy anything these days you get instruction manuals. I found myself at home with a baby that was completely dependant on me, and I was clueless as to what to do with it! Instruction manual.
From that day on I was looking out for Lewis to reach the milestones. When he exceeded them (like when he can turn over at 6 wks rather than 3 months) I was thrilled. When he was behind (he walked at 16 months rather than the average 12) I was very worried… The happiest was when he slept through the night at six months! I thought to myself – it will take “ages” for him to complete all the milestones… but low and behold – his 2nd birthday is in June!
I now think – gosh – time is passing too quickly! We must slow down!! Before long, he will no longer be a baby, in fact strictly speaking he is now a toddler! He will then be a child, then a teenager, then an adult and then leave home! Oh dear!!
People always say how children are dependant on their parents; well I see another side to it too. I find myself becoming increasingly dependant on Lewis! I guess he is the reason why I have the alarm set at 6 in the morning so I can get to the office and why I am working till 1am all this week.
I timed the average number of hours we get to spend together every evening, yesterday it was less than an hour, the same tonight. He is already tucked in and fast asleep. He needs to go to bed at 8pm, as I need to wake him in the morning at 7am to drop him off to nana. On the weekends when I let him wake at his own accord – he sleeps till 8.30 – this mean for the five days a week where I have to wake him, he could have had slept for another hour and a half! Guilty!
How can I can find more hours in the day to be with him and still be able to afford the big mortgage? I have already realised – time is passing us by quickly, too quickly…